Baby Blues

Never in a million years would I think that my children would have many years between them. The original plan when we heard we were expecting for the first time was to have three children all two to three years apart. My son will be four-years-old in the fall and fertilization seems to be alluding me.

I’m a healthy 26-year-old female, so why am I having a hard time getting pregnant? I know that it can take up to a year…. blah, blah, blah. I wasn’t planning on the first one, it just happened; but now that I am actually conscious of when I ovulate and I really want another child, nothing, NADA. We are going on month five of trying without any success.

I broke down and cried the other day when yet another old friend of mine revealed to the Facebook masses that she was expecting #2, which would be her second child in a three year period. My husband tried to comfort me by pointing out that our lives will be what they will be–if we can’t get pregnant then we can adopt. Then I got hysterical. My sweet, loving husband has been really wanting another child as well, and it actually occurred to him that something could be wrong with us–so much so that he is considering our options. I thought about getting checked out by a doctor, but it never–even for a second–occurred to me that for some reason, I may not be able to bear more children.

Poor hubby. While I cried profusely, he realized what he had done and desperately attempted to fix his blunder. Once I had rid myself of all the moisture in my body, I had to find a way to relax a little. The truth is that we will have the family we want one way or another, whether it be biologically ours or not. It will break my heart not to be able to experience carrying a child inside of me again, but I will love–fiercely love–whatever children I am lucky enough to have.

For now, we will just have to keep in trying. Poor hubby. He has it rough.

Checking In!

I haven’t been around to blog in a month…. yuck! After packing up my entire house and hitting the road, we have finally made it to our final destination–for the next two years at least. Right now I am in a hotel wishing that my new house was ready. Hubby goes back to work tomorrow and little man re-starts preschool. I can’t wait, but I’m still going to miss him.

Since we left our last house we have been spending some time traveling while we wait for the new one to be ready. You can read about our little camping adventure on North Padre Island here. We took little man down to watch the baby sea turtles being released, and it was VERY cool. After that we spent an afternoon horseback riding and exploring Palo Duro Canyon just outside of Amarillo, Texas. My son just ate it up and it was awesome to see him get outdoors and try something new. Next, we stopped at Capulin Volcano in New Mexico. My husband noticed it in the distance as we were passing by on Rt. 325, and somehow, he convinced me that it would be a good idea to stop. We spent a fun-filled hour walking the paths around the crater and going crazy taking photos of the extinct volcano (did I mention that the thing is extinct?) Anyways, after all that nature, we made our way to Colorado Springs.

We have had a rough time of it living in a hotel for a week, but the area is awesome. So far we have only driven through old historic Colorado City–which is adorable by the way–and spent an afternoon at Garden of the Gods. This place is spectacular. Both our son and our dog loved walking the paths, climbing the rocks, and just simply being out in nature.

No baby news to report. It still isn’t happening. I’m trying like hell not to get bent out of shape about it, but sometimes its hard. Other times, when my little family unit is having so much fun together, it’s easier to remember that what I’ve already got is pretty damn awesome.

Sex and Parenting

I never tell sex stories, because that stuff is uber personal, but this was simply too hilarious not to share. So here it goes….. My 3-year-old son has nightmares, and a few nights a week he gets scared and crawls into bed with my hubby and I. The kid is so stealthy, that most times I don’t even notice–I just wake up the next day with one of his hammy feet in my face.

Last night we put him to bed a little later than usual and started watching a show together in the living room. About two hours after he went down, we started messing around. All of a sudden we hear little cries coming from our son’s room and we both stopped cold. My little boy comes out of his room sobbing about his bad dream and I go cuddle him, covering myself the best that I can.

It’s completely dark in the living room and he doesn’t have a clue. I offer for him to sleep in our bed and he LOVES that idea, so he goes in right away. My husband and I sit there silently for a few minutes waiting. Of course, my son reappears in the doorway to the living room and he wants us to come cuddle him to sleep. I told him that we needed to finish cleaning up the living room and then we would be there. He says ok and then walks back into my room. Thirty seconds later, the boy is back in the doorway and he says, “Can I watch?”

I am completely horrified and I can feel my husband next to me–I’m pretty sure he feels the same way. My husband says to our son, “What do you mean watch?” I say, “What do you want to watch?”

My son says, “Watch you clean.”

Immediately my husband and I burst out laughing. Adults have dirty, dirty minds.

My Super Powers

My three-year-old son is obsessed with super heroes lately and it’s adorable. He insists that my husband read him the same story every night about ‘The Super Friends’ which is a cheap paperback that he got as a treat from our local grocery store. He talks about all of the super powers, and now he insists that he is a karate ninja who needs to keep everyone safe, which I just love! As I am putting him down for bed last night, he says that I have ‘Super Mommy Powers’–true story. Here is a list of my personal super powers:

  1. I have the ability to create the most sensational chocolate chips cookies the world has ever seen
  2. My keen Mommy-senses can pick up on fake crying from a mile away
  3. I can fix any boo boo at the speed of light
  4. I can leap over humongous piles of toys in any room in my house in a single bound
  5. My super-mommy strength allows me to hold a massive squirmy child and bring in at least six bags of groceries all in one trip
  6. I have the power to clean messes at super human speeds
  7. I can use my feet to open and close doors like Elastic Girl from the Incredibles

What are your super powers?

I want more llamas!

I feel like I need to dedicate a post to the shit my kid says, as that is usually the reason for having #2…. If we didn’t find this one so amusing, why would we bother with another?

Last week was rough as my babysitter was out of town, so my son had to stay at home with me all day while I worked. I felt like an awful parent for sticking him in front of the ol’ tube all day long, but it was the only way that I could really be productive. For awhile I was sitting by him on the couch and he was quietly playing with something on the floor, which should have been my first indication that something wasn’t right. All of a sudden he exclaims, “Look Mommy! I can tie your headset in a knot!” Excellent buddy. Excellent.

Today while we were on our way to the local pool, my son was pretty excited, and consequently, he was behaving very well. I turned to him and said, “Buddy, why are you such a good boy?” and he says to me, “Because I like cookies.” I think that’s fair.

When we got home from the pool and I was working on dinner, my son WAS NOT being a good boy and my husband put him in timeout. He was sitting there pouting and when I walked by he said, “Llama Llama Mad at Mama.” Now, if you read to your kid as much as I do, you will understand why this was a naughty, yet brilliant comment.

Finally…. bedtime. As much as I adore my son, I must admit that I am usually worn out by the time sun goes down and I’m ready for him to go to sleep. He grabbed a super hero book and handed it to his daddy, and we all laid down to read together. Somehow during this story, the topic of outer space came up (maybe something about the Green Lantern) and my son asked if there are storms in space. My husband proceeded to explain to him how geomagnetic storms work, and my son was completely into it. I couldn’t deal with all the brainy-ness in that room, so I left them to it.

Ah, it is days like this that remind me how cool kids are (especially the kind that my hubby and I produce!) and I just can’t wait for #2 to grace us with his or her presence. All that remains is getting pregnant!

Teamwork makes the dream work

Life has been friggin’ crazy lately. My day job is nuts (which I love) and I’m working on starting up my own online magazine which takes up every other waking moment that I have. To top off my ridiculous week, my babysitter is on vacation so my little guy is at home with my ALL DAY LONG. I feel like the worst parent in the world because the only way I can get anything accomplished is if I stick him in front of a screen. ARGH!

Thankfully, my husband came home for lunch today and spent that time hanging out with our son. Hubby even made him lunch so I could stay completely focused. I love that. I ended up getting a ton of work done on all fronts. By the time my hubby was home for the night, I was pooped, and I had two more business meetings to do. He asked me what my plan was for dinner, and I think that I may have laughed out loud at him. Poor guy. By the time I was done with my two meetings, my little guy had been pried away from the TV and happily soaked from the kiddie pool playing on our porch quietly. My husband had recruited him to assist in cleaning potatoes before sending him out to play. When I walked into the kitchen, mu hubby was seasoning steaks and fixing me a salad.

There are days when he can’t be around because he has to study for a test or needs to exercise for a physical exam (he is in the military, ya’ll.) And some days I’m swamped with work and I can’t be a very active mommy. I have seen a bunch of articles and news stories lately about the impact on families when the mother is in the workplace, but this is what I have to say: teamwork makes the dream work. Families are successful when everyone is involved. Whether parents work, stay at home, do 9 to 5’s, or late nights, families work best when parents are loving, dedicated, and involved with their kids and work together to get through the craziness that is life.

Boy or girl: Does it really matter?

There are so many people around me that are getting pregnant right now, and of course, I’m dying because I just want to be one of them! The big question for pregnant women seems to be what’s the baby’s sex? When my husband and I were pregnant with our first, we wanted to know right away so we could buy clothes and plan the nursery according to our baby’s sex. We had names picked the week before our sonogram appointment so the moment that we knew what we where having, we would know WHO we were having. We saved up a little bit of cash so once we found out we were having a little boy, we made a day of it. My husband and I went to our sonogram, out to lunch, bought a few outfits, and did our entire registry all that same afternoon. It was a great way to have our own little mini celebration.

When I found out the sex of our baby, I was in shock (for no particular reason) but I wasn’t upset. We were both completely elated, and I know that we would have felt that way if we had had a little girl as well. As our family continues to grow, we would like to have at least one of each sex so we can experience all the great things that come with raising boys and girls, but if I end up with three little boys, I will still be the happiest momma in the world.

Alot of people have preferences when it comes to the sex of their babies. Do you?

Thinking about baby #2

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Ahhh Sunday. We had a great weekend and I am actually looking forward to starting the whole “getting pregnant” thing over again. (Ovulation this Friday, woo hoo!) As excited as I am, I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t have reservations about baby #2. Our first pregnancy wasn’t planned, so although we wanted our baby a million times over, there was no real thought put into becoming a parent BEFORE the pregnancy. This time, we have plenty of time to think about it.

I have heard from somewhere (it is probably something that “they” say) that the hardest transition when having babies is from having one to having two. The first time around you were unexperienced, unprepared, and completely unsure. For #2, however, you have to manage all of an infant’s needs while still meeting all of the needs of your older child. Challenge much? Infants are tiresome to begin with but then you need to worry about paying the proper amount of attention to a child that has been your world for X amount of time up until now. Did I mention that I TOTALLY want another one?

two

So this weekend, hubby and I had our first challenge; our friends went away for the day and needed someone to take their dog. Their big dog. No sweat, right? Ha.

My little one was THRILLED, but I already wanted to kill the dogs after the first hour of them chasing one another throughout my small apartment. We decided to take them for a walk to get some energy out, which of course was a lovely choice fora 105 degree afternoon. They did beautifully at the dog park and behaved quite well while we took our son to the playground. Things were going well at this point and we felt quite optimistic.

We returned home for lunch and a nap, and when I say nap, I include my husband and I because we were beat. We separated the dogs because they were wrestling on top of us in the bed. You’d think that the heat would have worn them down a bit, right? Nope. Then, my son couldn’t fall asleep so he came in to get the dogs. For the next two hours the two large dogs and the child ran rampant around the house. It was great fun. Finally, it was time for dinner. After we ate we headed back out for another walk.

This almost did the trick. The second walk wore our son out and he went straight to bed. The dogs ALMOST stayed calm enough to let us watch a movie together at the end of the night. When our friends returned to get their puppy at midnight, we were pretty wiped–but still kind of sad to see her go. As stressful as the day had been, we had fun together, and I think the same will be true about another baby. It is going to be crazy stressful, tiring, and overwhelming, but at the end of the day, our family is going to be so much better with the addition, and really, we can’t wait!

love

Making my own exercise

Believe it or not, I do enjoy exercising. I’m starting to get into this running thing, and I have a passion for yoga. My biggest problem is finding the time! Now that my husband and I are trying for baby #2, I feel like I need to MAKE time for exercise because it’s what’s best for me and my new baby during this impending pregnancy.

We don’t have a television (crazy right?) so I pulled out the good ol’ laptop and loaded up Hulu. I’m a big fan of Vinyasa yoga so I searched for a video of that. I found this 30 minute video that seemed perfect for me. Thirty minutes isn’t that long, right?

Ya right. The dog kept licking my face and biting my nose. I’m not sure what I was doing that was so bad, but she was severely concerned for my safety. At one point, I’m practically upside down and the lady with the calm, soothing voice is telling me to surrender my thoughts. It is at this exact moment that my son starts yelling from the bathroom, “MOMMMMY!! Can you come wipe my bum?”

Seriously? I did make it through the entire video, but it wasn’t as relaxing and fulfilling as I had hoped. At this point, I decided to get my son involved so I could get SOMETHING done. It worked out pretty well.

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Now I know there is at least ONE way to exercise with a three-year-old. I think tomorrow I might get up at the crack of dawn so I can get a little yoga in before the boy gets up and before the dog starts functioning. Who knows, I might enjoy getting up with the sun.

Dealing with disappointment

My little friend came today. Utter disappointment. I am, however, being a spoiled brat because although it’s entirely possible to get pregnant right away, it’s not super likely. It is completely normal for it to take up to a year for healthy couples to get pregnant once they start trying. I know that the best thing I can do now is start the whole process over. I should:

1. Start monitoring my temperatures so I know for sure when I’m ovulating

2. Use online tools to determine when the best time to try is

3. Don’t rely on those tools. They are simply a guideline. Have sex often. (I know you guys out there are complaining about this one.)

4. Stay Healthy. Keep running, doing yoga, and continue climbing the mountain to making better food choices.

5. Stay Positive. A good attitude always helps, and Baby Center has some great ideas to help me keep my head up.

Round Two. Ding! Ding!